Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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