I'm gonna have a badass scar
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize