Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize