shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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