chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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