dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize