I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
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