I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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