The maid of honor just puked.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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