This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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