Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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