i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize