HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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