i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize