shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize