I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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