At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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