8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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