Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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