she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize