i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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