They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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