What did we do last night that was yellow?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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