i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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