My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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