lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize