apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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