Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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