apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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