The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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