And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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