His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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