Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize