and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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