My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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