Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize