how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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