Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize