Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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