Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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