eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize