remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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