Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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