his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
high people should be assigned attendants
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
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Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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