I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
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The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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