her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize