Just cropdusted the office
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize