god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize