If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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