Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My life is pants optional.
My feet surprised me
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